The Kid Effect

Yeah... As the title states, I have a theory. I like to call it the kid effect. Basically, it's when you're trying to do something that's "important" (Maybe not important to society, but to you as an individual, VERY IMPORTANT) and you can't because kids wanna talk at that exact moment that you begin your task, or wanna show you they can spin real fast, or what they just saw on TV that you "Have to buy them for  <insert closest day you get presents>, ok?". It is ridiculous!
     I could be sitting there for hours at a time doing absolutely nothing. Not a question. Not a complaint. Not even a glance. But the MOMENT you get up and start to accomplish something, all hell breaks loose and the apocalypse is imminent. Not only that, but every mundane task they have done 100000000000000000000 times before on their own, they are suddenly struck with temporary Alzheimer's. They can't function and you need to do it for them.
 "But, baby, you can get your own glass of water."
"No I can't, I cant find a cup."
"IThere are some in the cabinet."
"I couldn't find one."
"Did you actually look?"
"Yes!" (Full of attitude)
*walk over to the cabinet and open it*
EVERY EFFING CUP IS IN THERE CLEAN, ORGANIZED, AND ALMOST TO THE POINT OF FALLING OUT OF THE CABINET!!!
*Head explodes and a cup rolls over to the child as they then ask your lifeless corpse to pour it for them*
Maybe that's a little dramatic, but not far from the truth. And this happens anytime you want to do something.
Take a pee: Make a lunch
Get a drink of water: Find missing shoes
Watch TV: *crickets cheep*
Sit around on my big fat butt: *kids leave the room and go play*
The second I stand up to do anything: "DADDY! SHE WONT SHARE!!!!"
See the trend here? So being the genius I am, I put my theory to the test.

Sitting around doing absolutely nothing --------------- interrupted 0 times
Do some dishes --------------------------------------------- interrupted 4 times
Sweep the floor --------------------------------------------- interrupted 7 times
Sit down and send a few texts --------------------------- interrupted 0 times
Sat down to write this blog ------------------------------- interrupted 8 times and counting

Now, don't get me wrong, I love my kids and would do anything to them. In fact, seems I do everything for them. Yet, it's a common annoyance that I find somewhat fascinating. It's almost like magic. You can probably set your watch by it. *** Disclaimer: Seconds until interruption will vary by child and age***

Interruption 9

So, the trick is, making them think you're doing something unimportant all of the time!!! Or just give in and let your kids be your lords and masters until they are the age you can beat them senseless, or! until you can interrupt them! Yes! I think I'll do that! I'll plot and wait... Their high school years will be endless interruptions while doing homework, hanging with friends, at the mall.... Yes... This will be most enjoyable... unless I forget...

Interruption 10

Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope you have better luck, more patience, or more Benadryl than I have. Until next time... :D

Welcome Back!

     After a year I decided to dust off this old blog and write again. I have so much to say. Maybe I'll make this somewhat interesting or maybe it'll just be a ton of content with no real substance and you'll think it's all super boring. Either way, imma do it! This blog brought to you by my stupid brain and all things related and unimportant.

Just to make a pseudo check list of all the things I want to write about and maybe a type of weird foreshadowing for anyone following and salivating at the thought of reading my next collection of idiotic thoughts/rants.

What the f*ck have you been doing this past year?

1. What has changed
2. What hasn't

The church and its people

Girls

Girls

Guys

My little angels

What it's like to live in Las Cruces

What's it like to be Joe

The future

Some other crap you will read, but not care about

Strange Random thoughts and questions

1. This is more of a collection of mini blogs that don't really fit anywhere, but should be put out there for everyone's enjoyment/displeasure.

So, anyway, thanks for reading. I hope this will be somewhat entertaining, although probably not... :)